Always Be a Star
by CSIslave
Summary: I don't want to give too much away... lots of flashbacks, lots of drama... Sharpay and Ryan. Possible one shot unless requested otherwise...


A/N: Okay... I was listening to that bonus track on the HSM soundtrack... "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" and I just got to thinking how cute Ryan and Sharpay would be together... I still think he's best with Ryan... but hey, who knows? Anyway, please give me feedback... should I continue? Should I leave it here? Your opinion will make the difference in the end! Thank you all so much for reading! Enjoy!

_Italics_ are flashbacks, and thoughts.

_**Bold italics** _is writing.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or anything related to High School Musical... I don't know how I live day to day with that fact looming over me..

* * *

Ryan laughed at Sharpay as she insisted that something had been moving on her plate. Ryan looked up at his mom, who was watching them both eat with an odd look on her face. Ryan felt guilty… he normally got along with his mother so well, but he still felt bad about the fight they had had a few hours ago. 

"_Why do you love Shar more than me, mom? Why?" His eyes were filled with unshed tears. "Just… tell me!" Mrs. Evans took him close to her chest, hugging him tight._

"_You and Sharpay are two very different children, Ryan, and I love you both in different ways." Ryan seemed to accept this for the time being, but Mrs. Evans knew… she couldn't keep the secret much longer._

Mrs. Evans watched them carefully. Sharpay and Ryan were talking happily at the end of the table. Ryan said something softly to Sharpay, and she laughed loudly, her cheeks tingeing pink. She didn't know her mother was watching her; as Ryan looked down to grab his drink, Sharpay looked shocked… she glanced at Ryan out the corner of her eye, then blushed again and turned back to her food. Mrs. Evans felt nauseous. She couldn't keep lying to them. She would tell them in the morning. She rose from the table, silently excusing herself. Sharpay mimicked her, drifting up the stairs slowly to her bedroom.

Sharpay sat numbly in front of her vanity mirror, brushing her hair more for the sake of being occupied than anything else. Her mind drifted… what had been happening to her lately? Sharpay and Ryan would soon turn 18, and with the realization that her life was so near, Sharpay had begun to think more and more about what she had.

She had decent grades… she had a voice that people enjoyed… she had a few very good friends… she had the best brother anyone could ask for. The latter startled her more than anything else; she had always viewed Ryan as an inconvenience… something that could ruin her reputation in the blink of an eye. But now that she had been thinking about it more, Sharpay had realized that Ryan had been the only person who was always there for her, always ready to listen, to help in any way he could. He stood by her through every decision, every turn of her life. He had been the only boy she really trusted with all her heart.

Sharpay had never had a boyfriend, preferring to lust after Troy Bolton. When he had begun to date Gabriella, though, Sharpay had given up. She realized that Troy was more of a habit now… sure, she may have liked him at one point, but now it was just something that was part of her. So she let him go with a smile. When Sharpay dated Zeke, it had been brief. She felt that Zeke idolized her more than he loved her… he wanted to be able to point to her in a crowded room and have people be shocked that he was dating her. Sharpay could never be satisfied with that, so she had dumped him.

That was when Ryan had started meaning the world to her.

After breaking up with Zeke, Sharpay had felt alone in the world… more than anything, she wanted someone to look past the mask she forced herself to wear day after day at East High and love her for every little thing that made her who she really was. One night when she had lay quietly in her bed, crying, Ryan had come into her room and sat on her bed, stroking her hair and whispering to her until she fell asleep. Needless to say, she dreamt of him that night. When she woke up, she realized what could be happening. The next few weeks at school, Sharpay thought about how she had come to rely on her brother… how she would die without him… how he was the only person who had stuck by her throughout it all.

That was three month ago. And now, Sharpay was almost positive…

She was in love with her brother.

She stared sadly at her reflection. She knew it wasn't right… she knew she couldn't stand to see him waltz into her room in his pajama pants only, sitting on her bed to see if she wanted to talk before going to bed. She couldn't take that again. _What's wrong with you, Sharpay? _She could hear his voice, sad and worried, in her head.

"I can't do this, Ryan… it's not right. I shouldn't be feeling this way about my own brother." _No. I refuse to accept this. I am **not **in love with Ryan. I'm just confused and lonely. _She sniffed heavily, trying not to cry. Sighing sadly, Sharpay stood and walked to her closet, slipping on a pale pink nightgown. As silly as it sounded, Sharpay loved her nightgowns… the way they made her feel beautiful like only Ryan could.

"_Ryan, you're supposed to step left!" She turned to look at him, exasperated. He just grinned at her hand on her hip, her foot tapping impatiently. _

"_Come on, Shar… we'll be more than ready in time for the audition."_

"_I just feel so awful about the whole thing…" Sharpay sat on the bed, looking down tearfully. "We've never had to audition against anyone before. I just feel so… hopeless." He sat next to her,shocked at how out of character she was acting... Sharpay wasn't vulnerable... she wasn't scared, or worried. This wasthe Sharpay that Ryan had barely seen...After a moment of silence, Ryan timidly reached out and held her hand. She turned and rested gently against him. It was the first time that they had ever really held each other, besides when it was carefully plotted out in Sharpay's choreography. Ryan's heart beat rapidly in his chest, and the words poured out of him like he'd always been waiting to say them._

"_Shar, I know you're nervous… and we probably won't get the part this time… Gabriella and Troy trying out for this thing is new, and people have probably gotten tired of us. But even if we don't win…" he squeezed her tightly. "You're still much better than Gabriella… face it, you dance better, you look much better." She grinned at him. "Don't, Shar, you know I'm right!" He awkwardly ruffled her hair, not knowing what else to do in the situation. "I love you, and no matter what happens with this play, you'll still be a star."_

Suddenly, realizing how she had linked these two together, she felt sick. Falling into her bed, she pulled the covers up to her chin. Her door squeaked open, and she squeezed her eyes shut, praying he would leave her alone. However, she felt him sit on the edge of her bed.

"Come on, Shar… I heard you moving around in here just a second ago, there's no way you're asleep!" He rolled her over, and she had no time to hide the tears pouring down her face. Shock covered his features, and he quickly crawled under the covers with her, cradling her close to his chest. "Shar… talk to me, Sharpay, what's wrong?"

"Oh god, Ryan, go away!" She clung close to his bare chest, enjoying the sin of his warm flesh pressed against hers. He continued to rock her back and forth, kissing the top of her head tenderly. It was more than she could take. She shoved him away, sitting up. "Get the hell out, Ryan!" His eyes were sad; he had always been able to help her, and he wanted nothing more than to do that now. He slipped out of the room, leaving Sharpay shaking in the middle of her bed. She raked her manicured nails down her face in agony. She felt like screaming, moaning, dying… writhing silently on her bed, she buried her face deep into a pillow and let out a tormented scream.

Mrs. Evans was walking by Sharpay's room when she thought she heard a whimper. Mrs. Evans realized that she couldn't face her children about this… she wasn't strong enough. She couldn't bear to hear that whimper. Retreating to her room, she unlocked her safe and dug around, quickly finding what she was looking for. She then went to the kitchen, wrote a note explaining everything, and left, grabbing her coat and gently shutting the door behind her.

Ryan sat up, hugging his knees to his chest. He had always, _always_ been able to make Sharpay feel better. It made him miserable to see her so sad, and even more miserable that he didn't know the cause or couldn't fix it. He turned to his side, and grinned as he saw the photo strip Sharpay and he had taken at the mall a month ago. He stared at each picture, tenderly reaching out to touch Sharpay's laughing face. She hadn't been that happy in a long time. That was right before she had crept into his room to talk to him that night.

_"Ryan…" she had been cradled in his arms once more, her blonde hair tickling his chest. "Do you ever feel like you've wasted all your life and it's too late to change?" Ryan reached out and smoothed her hair down._

"_Sometimes… I wish I could start all over. Is that what you're talking about, Shar?"_

"_Sort of… well," she shifted. "You know I'm not really how I act at East High, right Ry?" Ryan could hear the pleading in her voice, and he grinned into the darkness._

"_You really believe that I think the Sharpay at school would ever talk to me like this?" She turned to smile, not caring that he couldn't see her._

"_I just feel like… no one knows the real me… and I know that's all my fault, because I don't let it show… if I wasn't the way I am at school, I don't know how I'd act. But I feel like no one will ever get to know the real me."_

"_Sharpay, don't worry for a second about that. You're beautiful, talented… and an amazing person. The guy who gets to know you will be the luckiest guy of all. Don't you forget that, okay?" He yawned slightly, and Sharpay sat up._

"_I'm sorry, Ryan. You need to get some sleep." She kissed his cheek gently, although Ryan felt as if she lingered for a bit longer than normal. He flushed as he felt her lips pressed gently against his skin, praying she couldn't feel the heat from his cheeks. "Goodnight. I…" she didn't complete the thought- just walked out of the room, quietly shutting the door._

Ryan let his head fall to his pillow, and slowly drifted off.

* * *

Sharpay was awoken by the soft sound of the shower running down the hallway. It was Saturday, and Sharpay could never figure out why Ryan rose so early just to shower. Yawning, Sharpay pushed the covers off of herself, forcing her self to stand up. Trudging down the stairs, she went to the kitchen to make tea for her and Ryan. Before she could reach the tea bags, though, a pile of papers caught her eye. Sitting at the table, she pulled off the top piece. _**My dearest children- **_

_**I wanted to give you some time alone to think about this. I never meant to lie to either of you, and I hope you can forgive me.**_

_**The scan showed that I had twins… your father would have been devastated and furious if he had discovered that one of them had been still born, so I sent the nurse out, and she found a child almost identical to the baby I had had. Sharpay… you were the twin who survived. Ryan… you are the baby the nurse found at the hospital. Your mother died in childbirth, and they didn't know who the father was. The hospital agreed to give me you, knowing of your father's violent tendencies… they wanted to protect Sharpay and me, so they thought that giving me Ryan would stop anything bad from happening.**_

_**I hope you can both forgive me… I'll be back in two days. I love you both so much.**_

_**Mom**_

Sharpay's mind couldn't register what was happening; she stared at the note for a minute, and then moved on to the other papers; they had been signed by the doctor, adoption agency, and Mrs. Evans, all stating that the orphan child was to be hers. Sharpay couldn't breathe; Ryan wasn't related to her at all. Ryan wasn't really her brother. Standing quickly, Sharpay launched up the stairs, her feet slapping against the ground as she ran to the bathroom. She flung open the door; Ryan was standing in the middle of the room, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Hey Shar," she grinned at her. "You're lucky you walked in when you did, otherwise…" he trailed off, seeing the tears and the huge smile on her face. He stepped toward her, and Sharpay stepped close to him, staring deep into his eyes.

"You're not my brother, Ryan."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're not my brother!"

"Are you mad at me?" Frustrated, Sharpay stepped closer, the space between their lips closing quickly. She leaned into his, her hands on his chest to steady herself, his wet hair dripping onto her nose as she cherished the feel of his lips upon hers. Ryan was frozen for a moment, torn between confusion and how right it felt to have Sharpay so close to him. She pushed her gently away, his feelings chasing each other around quickly inside, his heart beating faster than it ever had before. Sharpay used to kiss him on the lips, but never like that…

"Shar, what are you doing?"

"Ryan, look!" She shoved the adoption papers under his nose, waiting anxiously for him to finish reading. She watched his eyes grow in size, and finally he looked at her over the paper. "Ryan, come on, say something…"

"Why…" he couldn't speak… this made everything so much easier and so much more difficult.

"I love you, Ryan. And you're not my brother. So that makes it different, doesn't it?" Ryan stared into her pleading eyes.

"Shar…"

"Ryan, you're the only one who's ever bothered to know me. You're the only person I could never live without, not in a million years. I know I've always been mean to you, but I do love everything about you, Ryan. I love the way you squint when you're thinking. I love the way you raise your eyebrows when you're trying to sound smart. I love the way you stroke my hair when we talk. I love the way you hold me like if I asked you to hold onto me forever you'd do it in a heartbeat. I've felt this way for months, and I didn't understand it before, I didn't accept it before because I thought you were my brother. But you're not, Ryan. You're just someone I love with all my heart." Tears were flowing down her beautiful face once more; happy tears, anxious tears, nervous tears…. Ryan could only watch as the beautiful creature in front of him pleaded silently with him.

"Sharpay… I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me!" Her voice rose in desperation. "Tell me the truth, Ryan… could you live without me?"

"No," he whispered, staring into space.

"Do you want to live without me?"

"No."

"Has this changed how you feel about me?"

"Yes." Sharpay stepped back; she hadn't been expecting that. "Yes, it does, Shar. Before… I had to hold everything in around you. I didn't know what to think of myself. But now everything is okay… and I love you more than ever." She smiled as she realized what he was saying. They stepped towards each other, just holding tight. The only thing keeping the towel around Ryan's slender figure was Sharpay's body pressed close to his. Their chests rose and fell as one; there was no need to think, no need to speak. Their souls seemed to flow into each other's, Ryan wrapping his arms tightly around her, herfingers spreadgently on his back. Everything was okay now; everything was okay. No more masks. No more feeling alone… everything was okay.


End file.
